i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
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apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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