every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
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Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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