is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
