thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
