i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
