i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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