thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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