I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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