I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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