Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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