did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am mentally ready for anal.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize