who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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