I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
