we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
