The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
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if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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