who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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