Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
