Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I deserve this hangover.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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