Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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