The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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