i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
