so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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