its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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