When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
false alarm. still invincible.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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