Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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