she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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