i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize