thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
