You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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