Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I could fuck to npr.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
