Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Come on in and take your pants off
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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