i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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