It's just like the Real World with babies
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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