I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
