How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Fuck appropriateness.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
