He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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