she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
