I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
