when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm passing your future prison.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
