one might say we're banned from that church
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
