I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
