I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
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i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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