Im at strip club and am horny
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
