Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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