Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
how does that bad decision feel?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
