let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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