I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
