He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Holy sore nipples Batman
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
