Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
