That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
