I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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