They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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