youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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