remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
