My cat gives me a boner
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
