so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
