New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
