Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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