I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize