I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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