Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
