ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
