I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
