What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
