Pappa wants mamma naked
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
