pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize