Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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