I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
