Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
