i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
