like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
