friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
