I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
