When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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