So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
